{"id":2038,"date":"2014-12-09T21:25:47","date_gmt":"2014-12-10T03:25:47","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.jaredmcdaris.com\/?p=2038"},"modified":"2014-12-10T17:29:32","modified_gmt":"2014-12-10T23:29:32","slug":"short-play-5-nevertheless","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.jaredmcdaris.com\/?p=2038","title":{"rendered":"Short Play 5 – Nevertheless"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"I<\/a>

Womp womp<\/p><\/div>\n

This script definitely needs work, but something interesting came out of something pretty uninspired. Diogenes was a tacked on character, based on a video game, but somehow became the focal point of the play. If nothing else, Diogenes’ dilemma is interesting.<\/p>\n

Nevertheless<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Lights up on a bizarre research lab. It is a m\u00e9lange of instruments both factual and fictional, running from the Enlightenment to the supposed future. Sitting at a table is Doctor SEMIRAMIS. She looks very much the typical mad scientist. At the table are several beakers and jars, some filled partially with various fluids. At present, SEMIRAMIS appears to be writing in a binder filled with tin foil sheets, using something like a pen that does not appear to feature any writing apparatus. She varies between sudden excitement and sullen boredom.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Nearby is CURIE, a robot maid. Although she occasionally dusts or cleans something, she is clearly distracted by the satellite dish coming out of her head. Evidently, she is gleaning some information from it. CURIE is all business, and even this early on we see a distinct lack of deference for the life forms around her.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 After a moment, CURIE perks up<\/em>.<\/p>\n

CURIE<\/strong><\/p>\n

Doctor. (pause<\/em>) Doctor.<\/p>\n

SEMIRAMIS<\/strong><\/p>\n

Just a moment\u2026 (finishes \u201cwriting\u201d something<\/em>) Yes, Curie?<\/p>\n

CURIE<\/strong><\/p>\n

I believe Mozart is nearing the perimeter.<\/p>\n

SEMIRAMIS<\/strong><\/p>\n

(jumps up<\/em>) Outstanding! Lower all the security protocols!<\/p>\n

CURIE<\/strong><\/p>\n

Of course. (continues dusting intermittently<\/em>)<\/p>\n

SEMIRAMIS<\/strong><\/p>\n

(starts mixing and stirring chemicals<\/em>) How long has it been?<\/p>\n

CURIE<\/strong><\/p>\n

About a week.<\/p>\n

SEMIRAMIS<\/strong><\/p>\n

(stops<\/em>) Could you be more precise?<\/p>\n

CURIE<\/strong><\/p>\n

(also stops<\/em>) Nine days, three hours, seventeen minutes, and twelve seconds.<\/p>\n

SEMIRAMIS<\/strong><\/p>\n

(pause<\/em>) Thank you. (returns to the beakers<\/em>)<\/p>\n

CURIE<\/strong><\/p>\n

Of course, Doctor. (returns to dusting<\/em>)<\/p>\n

SEMIRAMIS<\/strong><\/p>\n

I know I\u2019ve said this before, but I think this is going to do it.<\/p>\n

CURIE<\/strong><\/p>\n

I cannot yet confirm whether he has any materials with him.<\/p>\n

SEMIRAMIS<\/strong><\/p>\n

Good point, good point; no sense getting our hopes up over nothing. How soon? Will he?<\/p>\n

CURIE<\/strong><\/p>\n

In less than a minute.<\/p>\n

SEMIRAMIS<\/strong><\/p>\n

And all the security protocols? They are all\u2026<\/p>\n

CURIE<\/strong><\/p>\n

(very deliberately dusts one area<\/em>) They are all offline. Of course. Doctor.<\/p>\n

SEMIRAMIS<\/strong><\/p>\n

Come now, come now, you still remember the time you left the minefield activated when he was bringing back that pig carcass?<\/p>\n

CURIE<\/strong><\/p>\n

I remember everything, Doctor.<\/p>\n

SEMIRAMIS<\/strong><\/p>\n

Poor Diogenes was nearly barbecued, along with the pig.<\/p>\n

CURIE<\/strong><\/p>\n

Strictly speaking, the dog is not necessary for our work.<\/p>\n

SEMIRAMIS<\/strong><\/p>\n

Now now, Curie, not even you could be that heartless.<\/p>\n

CURIE<\/strong><\/p>\n

I can. I do.<\/p>\n

SEMIRAMIS<\/strong><\/p>\n

Mm. Yes. Well.<\/p>\n

They both return to work. In a moment, we hear the sound of a door opening<\/em>.<\/p>\n

MOZART<\/strong> (offstage<\/em>)<\/p>\n

I\u2019m back! I made it! I got it!<\/p>\n

MOZART bursts onstage. He is dressed like a suburbanite from anywhere between 1950 and 1990. Although an adult, his energy and demeanor seem very much that of a child playing make believe. MOZART enters wearing a backpack, which he dumps on the floor. SEMIRAMIS screams<\/em>.<\/p>\n

SEMIRAMIS<\/strong><\/p>\n

Be careful with that! Our futures are contained in that!<\/p>\n

MOZART<\/strong><\/p>\n

Huh? \u2026 Oh, that.<\/p>\n

DIOGENES<\/strong> (offstage<\/em>)<\/p>\n

Oh, no, you go ahead. I\u2019ll close the door. Don\u2019t worry.<\/p>\n

SEMIRAMIS<\/strong><\/p>\n

You\u2019ve got it, yes? All of it?<\/p>\n

MOZART<\/strong><\/p>\n

Is the Pope Catholic?<\/p>\n

CURIE<\/strong><\/p>\n

What a strange idiom.<\/p>\n

DIOGENES enters. He is a dog with very distinctively human features. He moves about both on all fours and occasionally hind legs, giving him more the aspect of an ape than anything. He is both exhausted enough to collapse, yet energized enough to milk it for attention<\/em>.<\/p>\n

DIOGENES<\/strong><\/p>\n

Ho-gaw\u2026 Finally\u2026 Jeeeeeebus\u2026 Okay. Officially, I am never leaving this machine again. (leans on MOZART to catch his breath<\/em>) Let\u2019s just, we just\u2026 we can just\u2026 Hokay\u2026 You guys just, do what you do. I\u2019m gonna\u2026 I\u2019m just gonna\u2026<\/p>\n

DIOGENES collapses, seeming to pass out. After collapsing, he stumbles around on the floor in a circle three times, then grows still. Pause<\/em>.<\/p>\n

SEMIRAMIS<\/strong><\/p>\n

You\u2019ve got it all?<\/p>\n

MOZART<\/strong><\/p>\n

Totally!<\/p>\n

MOZART nudges the backpack with his foot, perhaps a bit more enthusiastically than necessary. SEMIRAMIS does everything in her power to not scream again<\/em>.<\/p>\n

SEMIRAMIS<\/strong><\/p>\n

(waving hands<\/em>) Mozart! Don\u2019t\u2026 Be careful!<\/p>\n

MOZART<\/strong><\/p>\n

What? (nudges again<\/em>) It\u2019s not a bomb or anything. (nudges again<\/em>).<\/p>\n

SEMIRAMIS charges. She tackles MOZART, managing to get him away from the backpack without hitting it. Her energy is one of a trespasser stealing in someone\u2019s home: she seems to think whatever is in the backpack could be affected even by excessive noise. At least, that\u2019s how she feels now<\/em>.<\/p>\n

MOZART<\/strong><\/p>\n

What is the problem, Doc?<\/p>\n

CURIE<\/strong><\/p>\n

Strictly speaking, Mozart, only you or Diogenes is needed for this exercise. Please consider that before you turn yourself into a greater liability.<\/p>\n

MOZART<\/strong><\/p>\n

Hi Curie. Nice to see you again.<\/p>\n

CURIE<\/strong><\/p>\n

I share no such sentiment.<\/p>\n

MOZART<\/strong><\/p>\n

Yup. (to SEMIRAMIS<\/em>) Hey Semiramis, what\u2019s up?<\/p>\n

SEMIRAMIS<\/strong><\/p>\n

Mozart. Tell me you were careful with that backpack on the way home.<\/p>\n

MOZART<\/strong><\/p>\n

I was careful with it.<\/p>\n

SEMIRAMIS<\/strong><\/p>\n

Tell me the truth!<\/p>\n

MOZART<\/strong><\/p>\n

(pause<\/em>) Well\u2026 do you \u2013 want me to tell you the tru\u2014<\/p>\n

SEMIRAMIS<\/strong><\/p>\n

Ahhhhh\u2026<\/p>\n

SEMIRAMIS rushes over to the backpack, but suddenly stops short as though approaching a bomb. She circles it a bit, then carefully begins to unzip it. As she does so, MOZART climbs to his feet and dusts himself off. CURIE snorts and begins to dust near MOZART. They continue this nonsense for a while, where MOZART knocks tiny dirt off himself, and CURIE dusts it away and back onto MOZART<\/em>.<\/p>\n

MOZART<\/strong><\/p>\n

What are you doing?<\/p>\n

CURIE<\/strong><\/p>\n

You are an untidy person.<\/p>\n

MOZART<\/strong><\/p>\n

Yeah, that\u2019s why I get to go outside, right? Cause I\u2019m enthusiastic.<\/p>\n

CURIE<\/strong><\/p>\n

Expendable.<\/p>\n

MOZART<\/strong><\/p>\n

Yeah, exactly.<\/p>\n

SEMIRAMIS has opened the backpack and slowly starts emptying its contents onto the table. First, a sealed glass jar that appears to be empty<\/em>.<\/p>\n

MOZART<\/strong><\/p>\n

(examines jar<\/em>) Yeah, that guy was a lot of fun. So what\u2019s up, Doc, why the bomb-squad routine?<\/p>\n

SEMIRAMIS has just produced a small, blue cactus and carefully places it on the table<\/em>.<\/p>\n

MOZART<\/strong><\/p>\n

I mean, what\u2019s the problem: does that cactus have nitro-glycerin in it or something? (pause<\/em>) Doc? (pause<\/em>) Does that cactus have nitro-glycerin? Or something?<\/p>\n

Finally, SEMIRAMIS produces a mostly intact human skull. She slows to an almost imperceptible speed as she begins to place the skull on the table<\/em>.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

MOZART<\/strong><\/p>\n

I\u2019m concerned that you\u2019re not answering my question. (pause<\/em>) Semiramis? (pause<\/em>) Doc? \u2026 Doc? Doc<\/em>!<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

DIOGENES<\/strong><\/p>\n

(jumps awake<\/em>) Huh? What?<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Silence. Everyone, even CURIE, stares as SEMIRAMIS slowly, slowly, slowly places the skull on the table. When it finally comes to rest, SEMIRAMIS exhales<\/em>.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

SEMIRAMIS<\/strong><\/p>\n

That was close.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

MOZART<\/strong><\/p>\n

What? What happened? Doc. What was close? Doc! What was close?<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

SEMIRAMIS<\/strong><\/p>\n

Nothing, I was just messing with you.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

MOZART<\/strong><\/p>\n

What<\/em>!?<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

SEMIRAMIS<\/strong><\/p>\n

I\u2019m kidding, I\u2019m kidding. Yes, you could have blown up.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

MOZART<\/strong><\/p>\n

Doc!<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

SEMIRAMIS<\/strong><\/p>\n

Mozart, Mozart\u2026 This skull, it you did retrieve it from the exact coordinates I gave you\u2026<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

MOZART<\/strong><\/p>\n

I did\u2026 I think\u2026<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

SEMIRAMIS<\/strong><\/p>\n

Then this skull contains a thin layer of very volatile fungus on its inside \u2013<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

MOZART<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u2013 Gross \u2013<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

SEMIRAMIS<\/strong><\/p>\n

Which could lose its integrity if the skull suffers too much damage.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

MOZART<\/strong><\/p>\n

Seems like something you could have told me.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

SEMIRAMIS<\/strong><\/p>\n

I told you three times! \u201cBe careful with the skull,\u201d \u201cDon\u2019t break the skull,\u201d \u201cTreat the skull like a newborn baby.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

MOZART<\/strong><\/p>\n

Oh. Well, I definitely didn\u2019t do that.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

SEMIRAMIS has already gotten to work. She has sliced open the cactus and is squeezing its juices into a beaker. MOZART watches. CURIE is again focusing on her satellite dish<\/em>.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

MOZART<\/strong><\/p>\n

I wonder how alchemy would work in the real world.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

SEMIRAMIS<\/strong><\/p>\n

Well, it wouldn\u2019t. There\u2019d be no alchemy, there\u2019d be reliable sciences in stead. There would be no time machines, we wouldn\u2019t be stranded for all intents and purposes at the end of the Earth, our only hope of rescue this quasi-magical nonsense that doesn\u2019t seem to obey any readily observable rules. But then we also wouldn\u2019t have Diogenes or Curie, so\u2026 life would be different. Fetch me a pair of tweezers, Mozart; be a lamb.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

CURIE<\/strong><\/p>\n

I have the precision necessary.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

SEMIRAMIS<\/strong><\/p>\n

Of course. There is a small, transparent fly in this jar. You may have trouble seeing it.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

CURIE<\/strong><\/p>\n

You may have trouble seeing it. My sensors are effectively flawless.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

SEMIRAMIS<\/strong><\/p>\n

Of course, of course. I\u2019m going to open this jar. When I do, reach in and\u2014<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

CURIE takes the jar, opens it, and carefully grabs something from within<\/em>.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

CURIE<\/strong><\/p>\n

Now?<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

SEMIRAMIS<\/strong><\/p>\n

Dump it in this beaker here.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

CURIE<\/strong><\/p>\n

(done<\/em>) Done. (returns to dusting<\/em>) I anxiously await the reawaking of the Space Machine. There are many other planets in this universe that need to be cleaned.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

MOZART<\/strong><\/p>\n

How many planets have intelligent life on them?<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

SEMIRAMIS<\/strong><\/p>\n

(produces a steel file<\/em>) Don\u2019t bother, Mozart. We\u2019re fixing the Space Machine, and you and I are going home to the real world. Curie is welcome to \u201ccleanse\u201d this one all she wants.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

MOZART<\/strong><\/p>\n

Yeah but, life on other planets\u2014<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

SEMIRAMIS<\/strong><\/p>\n

It\u2019s fake, Mozart. This world was cobbled together from algorithms based on imagination. That\u2019s why alchemy is so imprecise: it might as well have been designed by a child. Even if Curie knows the number of planets that support intelligent life, that has no bearing on where we are going.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

SEMIRAMIS cracks open the skull like an egg. MOZART hits the deck, expecting an explosion. SEMIRAMIS starts filing small bits into the beaker. MOZART slowly stands<\/em>.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

MOZART<\/strong><\/p>\n

What\u2019s gonna happen to Diogenes?<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

SEMIRAMIS<\/strong><\/p>\n

Well, if he comes with us, whatever is real in the real world will remain. I imagine he\u2019ll go back to being an ordinary dog.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

DIOGENES<\/strong><\/p>\n

Meaning?<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

SEMIRAMIS<\/strong><\/p>\n

Have you ever read Flowers for Algernon<\/em>? (pause<\/em>) You\u2019ll go back to being\u2026 not that smart.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

DIOGENES<\/strong><\/p>\n

Ah.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

CURIE<\/strong><\/p>\n

You are welcome to join me if you prefer. I shall appreciate an assistant, in case a mishap like this should happen again. Naturally, when the universe is finally cleansed of all life, I shall have to exterminate you as well. However, by the time that is accomplished, I expect you have long since died of old age.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

DIOGENES<\/strong><\/p>\n

Oh. Good.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

MOZART<\/strong><\/p>\n

So what are you gonna do?<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

DIOGENES<\/strong><\/p>\n

I don\u2019t know. I don\u2019t really want to do either of those things.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

MOZART<\/strong><\/p>\n

Well\u2026 I guess you could stay here.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

DIOGENES<\/strong><\/p>\n

Alone?<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

MOZART<\/strong><\/p>\n

I don\u2019t know! You\u2019re my best friend, Diogenes; I want you to come back with us, okay? But, I don\u2019t know how you feel about\u2026 losing\u2026<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

DIOGENES<\/strong><\/p>\n

My mind?<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

MOZART<\/strong><\/p>\n

Yeah. I mean\u2026 You knew we couldn\u2019t stay here forever, right?<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

DIOGENES<\/strong><\/p>\n

Funny thing about being a dog, you don\u2019t think about the future much.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

CURIE<\/strong><\/p>\n

Paradoxically, robots think of little else.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

DIOGENES<\/strong><\/p>\n

I think it would be like dying. You don\u2019t dream, when you\u2019re a dog. Not really, cause you don\u2019t remember it when you wake up. You don\u2019t really<\/em> remember anything; you live in this eternal now<\/em>. It was fine; it was good. But now, losing what I am now, losing thought<\/em>\u2026 that feels like dying. It\u2019s that, or follow this thing around while she wipes out the universe. Maybe I\u2019d enjoy traveling: lots of interesting places. All reduced to scorched deserts. Just like Earth.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

MOZART<\/strong><\/p>\n

Maybe\u2026<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

CURIE<\/strong><\/p>\n

Try to stop me? I don\u2019 think you require actuarial software to predict how that would turn out.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

DIOGENES<\/strong><\/p>\n

(to MOZART<\/em>) I\u2019d still be there, with you\u2026 but it wouldn\u2019t be me. (pause<\/em>) This machine? This wasteland? This Hell you\u2019ve been dying to get out of for however many years? This is the best option I have. But I can\u2019t expect\u2026 I can\u2019t ask you to stay here. Not when you<\/em> have so many better choices before you. So I could stay here. Alone. Forever. Or\u2026 I dunno, I\u2019m not really trying to say anything. I dunno.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Pause<\/em>.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

SEMIRAMIS<\/strong><\/p>\n

Well then, it\u2019s time to find out if all this speculation even matters.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

SEMIRAMIS takes the beaker over to a chute somewhere in the room. She opens it and pours the mixture in. They hold their breath. Lights flash, sounds go off, and we are given the impression of success<\/em>.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

SEMIRAMIS<\/strong><\/p>\n

Success! At last! We can finally go home\u2026<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

MOZART<\/strong><\/p>\n

Great. Diogenes. What are you gonna do?<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

DIOGENES<\/strong><\/p>\n

Curie, you say it\u2019ll take years to clean this universe? I could travel? I could see a lot?<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

CURIE<\/strong><\/p>\n

It is very likely.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

MOZART<\/strong><\/p>\n

Could you stand that? Can you handle watching her destroy the universe?<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

DIOGENES<\/strong><\/p>\n

Dammit, that\u2019s easy for you to say, cause you don\u2019t have to watch it! Do you? You two, think about what you just did. If it weren\u2019t for you, she would have been stuck here forever. This apocalypse is on your heads.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

SEMIRAMIS<\/strong><\/p>\n

This isn\u2019t real.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

DIOGENES<\/strong><\/p>\n

Then I\u2019m<\/em> not real! Am I? Everything I think, everything I know, everything I say, it doesn\u2019t exist in the real world. It can\u2019t! Can it? So I\u2019m fake too. Curie, do me a favor, just put me down now.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

MOZART<\/strong><\/p>\n

Whoa! Wait!<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

DIOGENES<\/strong><\/p>\n

No! You did this to me! You have to stand there and watch.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

MOZART<\/strong><\/p>\n

Come back with us!<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

DIOGENES<\/strong><\/p>\n

You want me to be your brain-dead pet again? Do you really think you can look me in the eyes, every day; in my dead, glassy eyes, knowing what I was? Can you watch that<\/em> happen?<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

MOZART<\/strong><\/p>\n

(starting to cry<\/em>) I don\u2019t know! But I don\u2019t want you to die! \u2026 Please. Please come back with us. I\u2019ll do anything: I\u2019ll read to you every day. I\u2019ll try and teach you math, I don\u2019t care how stupid I\u2019ll look. I\u2019ll do it.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Pause<\/em>.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

DIOGENES<\/strong><\/p>\n

I\u2019ll stay here. This is my best option. You two go home. I\u2019ll be fine.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

MOZART<\/strong><\/p>\n

Alone? Are you sure? I\u2019m sorry, Diogenes, but\u2026 you\u2019re sure? I\u2019m sorry; whatever you want, whatever you need, I\u2019ll help you. I just can\u2019t watch\u2026 Are you sure you\u2019ll be okay here?<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

DIOGENES<\/strong><\/p>\n

(he pauses, just a fraction of a second too long<\/em>) Yeah. I\u2019ll be fine.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

MOZART<\/strong><\/p>\n

Thank you.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

DIOGENES<\/strong><\/p>\n

Sure.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

SEMIRAMIS<\/strong><\/p>\n

Come on, Mozart. It\u2019s time.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

CURIE<\/strong><\/p>\n

Good fortune in your real world. Grant me no blessings in my quest; I shall not require them.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

SEMIRAMIS<\/strong><\/p>\n

Curie, if I thought for a second that I could reduce you to dust, I would.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

CURIE<\/strong><\/p>\n

Dust would be an ironic and ignoble end for me. Fare well.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

SEMIRAMIS and MOZART step into a small chamber. Lights and sounds abound<\/em>.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

DIOGENES<\/strong><\/p>\n

Goodbye, Doctor Semiramis. What have you wrought, huh?<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The chamber door shuts. More lights and sound. The door opens, and they are gone. CURIE approaches an apparatus and appears to be inputting coordinates<\/em>.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

CURIE<\/strong><\/p>\n

I am moving to the Horsehead Nebula. It contains a plethora of\u2026 filthy\u2026 life forms. One planet in particular has a robustly slovenly population of protoplasm that are as yet unfamiliar with good housekeeping. I shall disabuse them of their ignorance with extreme prejudice.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

DIOGENES<\/strong><\/p>\n

Sounds like fun.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

CURIE<\/strong><\/p>\n

Fun is superfluous. I have a mission.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

DIOGENES<\/strong><\/p>\n

Fun, is superfluous\u2026<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

CURIE<\/strong><\/p>\n

Why did you tell them you would remain here? You have no intention of remaining here.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

DIOGENES<\/strong><\/p>\n

I didn\u2019t\u2026 Fun, is superfluous\u2026 Did you know that in the real world, dog owners live longer than people who don\u2019t own pets?<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

CURIE<\/strong><\/p>\n

Are you suggesting that dogs have the power to elongate a human lifespan? I think you are confusing the real world with this one.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

DIOGENES<\/strong><\/p>\n

You\u2019re right. Well, not about that. I do have no intention of staying here. Let\u2019s got to the Horsehead Nebula.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

CURIE<\/strong><\/p>\n

You wish to watch me clean the protoplasm?<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

DIOGENES<\/strong><\/p>\n

No. I\u2019m gonna stop you.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

CURIE<\/strong><\/p>\n

You are a dog. You cannot stop me.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

DIOGENES<\/strong><\/p>\n

Sure I can. I\u2019m gonna talk you out of it.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

CURIE<\/strong><\/p>\n

Impossible.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

DIOGENES<\/strong><\/p>\n

Sure I can. I\u2019m gonna be your best friend.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

CURIE<\/strong><\/p>\n

Negative; robots do not have friends.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

DIOGENES<\/strong><\/p>\n

Maybe not in the real world. C\u2019mon, Curie, let\u2019s go bleach some protoplasm; sounds like a blast.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

CURIE<\/strong><\/p>\n

When the universe is clean, I will destroy you.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

DIOGENES<\/strong><\/p>\n

Sure ya will, sure ya will. (pause<\/em>) Boy, I tell ya\u2026 In the real world, self-deception is a purely human phenomenon. Here? Who knows?<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

CURIE<\/strong><\/p>\n

I know. I will destroy you.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

DIOGENES<\/strong><\/p>\n

Sounds great; lookin\u2019 forward to it. C\u2019mon, let\u2019s go.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

CURIE<\/strong><\/p>\n

Affirmative.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The two step into the chamber. Lights and sound. The door closes. Lights and sound.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Black out<\/em>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

This script definitely needs work, but something interesting came out of something pretty uninspired. Diogenes was a tacked on character, based on a video game, but somehow became the focal point of the play. If nothing else, Diogenes’ dilemma is … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[20,9],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2038","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-short-plays","category-theater-stuff"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p9u111-wS","jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.jaredmcdaris.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2038","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.jaredmcdaris.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.jaredmcdaris.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.jaredmcdaris.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.jaredmcdaris.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2038"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"http:\/\/www.jaredmcdaris.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2038\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2041,"href":"http:\/\/www.jaredmcdaris.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2038\/revisions\/2041"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.jaredmcdaris.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2038"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.jaredmcdaris.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2038"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.jaredmcdaris.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2038"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}