{"id":2099,"date":"2014-12-18T17:23:18","date_gmt":"2014-12-18T23:23:18","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.jaredmcdaris.com\/?p=2099"},"modified":"2014-12-18T17:26:11","modified_gmt":"2014-12-18T23:26:11","slug":"short-play-11-he-opens-a-window","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.jaredmcdaris.com\/?p=2099","title":{"rendered":"Short Play 11 – He Opens a Window"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"Delightful<\/a>

Delightful Crap!<\/p><\/div>\n

This is not representative of any specific day I experienced. It’s a combination of a number of experiences. Please forgive the (again) phallocentric nature, but that’s the experience I had.<\/p>\n

He Opens a Window<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0Lights up on a sidewalk. It\u2019s just after sunset, and only some of the streetlights have come on, bathing the area in a golden glow that paradoxically the provides the illusions of warmth and the wan patina of scarcity. JAKE is sitting on a blanket on the sidewalk, up against a stark, filthy, but relatively graffiti-free wall. He is dressed in business casual. An old but functional laptop computer rests in his lap, and he is industriously typing away. Presumably, he is working. He also sports a massive black eye.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Like a middle-class child trundling into the kitchen for a snack, more lights snap on. Just like that, it is officially night. And much like a cockroach caught in that metaphorical kitchen, JAKE instantly snaps to attention. He closes his laptop and puts it into a canvas shopping bag, then carefully shoves the canvas bag into a quality but filthy backpack. From out of the backpack, he pulls another canvas bag. From this canvas bag, he pulls a pair of jeans and a rumpled old jumper. JAKE looks around for a moment, then quickly strips out of his pants and into the jeans, not bothering to remove his shoes. As he is trying to pull his pants from his shoes, an older couple walks by. They don\u2019t realize what they are seeing until they are upon him. JAKE smiles very awkwardly, as the couple does their best to pretend he isn\u2019t there. JAKE finally gets his pants off and puts on his jeans.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 He then, after looking about again, removes his shirt and tie and zips up the jumper. Jake very carefully folds his pants and shirt, rolls up his tie, and places these in the empty canvas bag. He then carefully shoves the canvas bag into his backpack. Next, from a small pocket in the backpack, he pulls a smart phone, from which he checks the time and his e-mail. He make a few quick notations and replaces the phone.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 At this point, the older couple edges back on. The man has his back to JAKE, the woman is facing the man. They are clearly talking about JAKE, making occasional reference to him, but trying not to be heard by him.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 JAKE uses his backpack as a pillow, wraps his small blanket around him as best he can, and beds down for the still very young night<\/em>.<\/p>\n

MAN<\/strong><\/p>\n

(To woman<\/em>) I know, babe, I know.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

WOMAN<\/strong><\/p>\n

(To man<\/em>) Well, ask him, why don\u2019t you?<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

MAN<\/strong><\/p>\n

Just let him do what he wants.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

WOMAN<\/strong><\/p>\n

He has a cell phone.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

MAN<\/strong><\/p>\n

I know.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

WOMAN<\/strong><\/p>\n

So tell him.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

MAN<\/strong><\/p>\n

I know.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

WOMAN<\/strong><\/p>\n

Do it.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

MAN<\/strong><\/p>\n

I will. (slowly, to JAKE<\/em>) Hey. Hey son. (silence. The MAN walks over to JAKE and stands directly over him<\/em>). Hey. (pause<\/em>) Hey!<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

JAKE<\/strong><\/p>\n

(raises his head<\/em>) Sorry?<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

MAN<\/strong><\/p>\n

Would you mind acknowledging my presence, young man?<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

JAKE<\/strong><\/p>\n

Okay. I\u2019m sorry, what\u2019s up?<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

MAN<\/strong><\/p>\n

What\u2019s up? What\u2019s up, is you\u2019re out here begging one minute and playing on your iPhone the next.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

JAKE<\/strong><\/p>\n

Sorry?<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

MAN<\/strong><\/p>\n

I saw you, son, on your iPhone.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

JAKE<\/strong><\/p>\n

It\u2019s actually a Samsung Galaxy. Refurbished. It\u2019s a lot cheaper.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

MAN<\/strong><\/p>\n

Whatever. Why the hell are you out here begging for our hard-earned change when all you\u2019re doing is playing on your iPhone all day.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

JAKE<\/strong><\/p>\n

I\u2019m not begging, sir. I\u2019m trying to sleep.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

MAN<\/strong><\/p>\n

Oh. I\u2019m sorry. Have we interrupted your beauty rest, after a hard day\u2019s work?<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

JAKE<\/strong><\/p>\n

It\u2019s not\u2026 beauty rest, sir. I\u2019m just sleeping.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

MAN<\/strong><\/p>\n

If you love that iPhone so much, why don\u2019t you go get a job to pay for it.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

JAKE<\/strong><\/p>\n

I have a job.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

WOMAN<\/strong><\/p>\n

Then why are you out here pretending to be a homeless person?<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

JAKE<\/strong><\/p>\n

I am<\/em> homeless.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

WOMAN<\/strong><\/p>\n

Look at his shoes. How much did those shoes cost?<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

JAKE<\/strong><\/p>\n

Twenty bucks. They\u2019re three years old.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

WOMAN<\/strong><\/p>\n

Sure they are.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

JAKE<\/strong><\/p>\n

Ma\u2019am, Sir, I\u2019m having a hard time understanding how this is any of your business, but\u2014<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

MAN<\/strong><\/p>\n

Don\u2019t talk to my wife like that.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

JAKE<\/strong><\/p>\n

She engaged me, sir.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

MAN<\/strong><\/p>\n

You don\u2019t talk to her like that. My wife has a job, son. D\u2019you understand that?<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

JAKE<\/strong><\/p>\n

Yes, as do I.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

MAN<\/strong><\/p>\n

She gets up at six o\u2019clock every morning to go in and earn the taxes that subsidize your lazy lifestyle, son. She paid for that iPhone you\u2019re playing with all day.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

JAKE<\/strong><\/p>\n

It\u2019s a Samsung\u2014<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

MAN<\/strong><\/p>\n

So I\u2019d appreciate it if you, a male welfare queen, didn\u2019t adopt such a holier-than-thou attitude. All right?<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

JAKE<\/strong><\/p>\n

I\u2019m not on welfare sir; I have a job.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

MAN<\/strong><\/p>\n

Then what are you doing out on the street, son?<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

JAKE<\/strong><\/p>\n

It\u2019s a temp job, sir; I can\u2019t sign a year-long lease on a three week job.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

MAN<\/strong><\/p>\n

So get a real job, then.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

JAKE<\/strong><\/p>\n

Do you have a job to offer me, sir?<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

MAN<\/strong><\/p>\n

Don\u2019t sell your sob-story to me, young man: no one\u2019s gonna hire a lazy\u2014<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

JAKE<\/strong><\/p>\n

And there\u2019s the sound of one hand clapping.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

MAN<\/strong><\/p>\n

Don\u2019t interrupt me, young man. Show a little respect.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

JAKE<\/strong><\/p>\n

I\u2019ll respect you when you respect me, sir.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

WOMAN<\/strong><\/p>\n

Hey! You don\u2019t talk to my husband that way.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

JAKE<\/strong><\/p>\n

I didn\u2019t want to talk to you at all!<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

MAN<\/strong><\/p>\n

Then don\u2019t be begging for handouts out here while playing on your iPhone.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

JAKE<\/strong><\/p>\n

I wasn\u2019t begging, sir, I was sleeping! And before that I was working.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

WOMAN<\/strong><\/p>\n

(scoffing<\/em>) You were working? Out here?<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

JAKE<\/strong><\/p>\n

Yes. I was finishing expense reports, on my own time, so they\u2019d be ready for work tomorrow. Then I put my eight-year-old computer away, checked my e-mail on my three-year-old Samsung Galaxy phone, and went to sleep.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

MAN<\/strong><\/p>\n

Now he\u2019s got a computer! But he doesn\u2019t have a home.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

JAKE<\/strong><\/p>\n

Do you wanna buy my eight-year-old computer for ten-thousand dollars so I can sign a year-long lease on an apartment? Then be my guest.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

WOMAN<\/strong><\/p>\n

Oh boo hoo: get a roommate.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

JAKE<\/strong><\/p>\n

Who\u2019s gonna room with an unemployed person?<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

WOMAN<\/strong><\/p>\n

Ah hah! Now you\u2019re unemployed?<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

JAKE<\/strong><\/p>\n

Well I will be in three weeks.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

WOMAN<\/strong><\/p>\n

Better get your story straight, son.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

JAKE<\/strong><\/p>\n

(standing<\/em>) Will you two just leave me alone!<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

MAN<\/strong><\/p>\n

Calm down, son.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

JAKE<\/strong><\/p>\n

No! I was sleeping! I was minding my own business, and then you two come up and start harassing me for begging, which I wasn\u2019t doing, while playing on an iPhone, which I also wasn\u2019t doing\u2014<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

MAN<\/strong><\/p>\n

We saw the phone, son!<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

JAKE<\/strong><\/p>\n

Fine! I own a phone! You can\u2019t get a fucking job without one!<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

MAN<\/strong><\/p>\n

Watch your mouth!<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

JAKE<\/strong><\/p>\n

I was sleeping! I just want to sleep so I can be well rested when I get up at four in the morning to get ready to not look like a homeless person, so I won\u2019t be fired for being homeless when I go into work at six. Please! Leave me the fuck alone!<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

MAN<\/strong><\/p>\n

How would you like another black eye, young man?<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

JAKE<\/strong><\/p>\n

Oh I\u2019d love it; may I?<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The MAN punches JAKE in the other eye. JAKE knocks his head against the fall and falls down<\/em>.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

MAN<\/strong><\/p>\n

We were trying to help you, son.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

JAKE<\/strong><\/p>\n

Fuck you!<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

WOMAN<\/strong><\/p>\n

Hey! You need to calm down!<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

JAKE<\/strong><\/p>\n

I was\u2014<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

MAN<\/strong><\/p>\n

Enough! (to Woman<\/em>) Some people just refuse to try. Let\u2019s go.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

WOMAN<\/strong><\/p>\n

Let\u2019s go find a cop. (shouting back at JAKE<\/em>) Drunk and disorderly!<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

They walk off<\/em>.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

JAKE<\/strong><\/p>\n

I\u2019m not<\/em>\u2026 (realized they\u2019re not listening<\/em>) I don\u2019t even drink.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Immediately, two people subtly step onstage from the other direction. CHRISTINE and ANDRE are both dressed in business casual, bordering and professional-wear. They both look better than JAKE did at the plays opening. And of course, neither has a black eye. CHRISTINE is more heavily made up, while ANDRE girds himself with a strong air of casual confidence.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 They stare at JAKE. After a moment, JAKE realizes they are there. They all stare.<\/em><\/p>\n

Silence<\/em>.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

CHRISTINE<\/strong><\/p>\n

Jake?<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Silence. A long silence<\/em>.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

JAKE<\/strong><\/p>\n

No\u2026<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Another long, super-uncomfortable silence<\/em>.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

CHRISTINE<\/strong><\/p>\n

I didn\u2019t believe it. I couldn\u2019t believe it.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

ANDRE<\/strong><\/p>\n

Well, let\u2019s let him explain himself first. Hi, I\u2019m Andre. I\u2019m a friend of Christine\u2019s. (offers a hand<\/em>)<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

JAKE<\/strong><\/p>\n

(tentatively takes the hand<\/em>) Stephenopolus.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

ANDRE<\/strong><\/p>\n

Huh?<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

JAKE<\/strong><\/p>\n

(pause<\/em>) Jake.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

ANDRE<\/strong><\/p>\n

Yeah.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

CHRISTINE<\/strong><\/p>\n

What are you doing out here?<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

JAKE<\/strong><\/p>\n

Just\u2026 ya know\u2026 writin\u2019 poetry. Looking for inspiration.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

CHRISTINE<\/strong><\/p>\n

We saw what happened. With that couple.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

JAKE<\/strong><\/p>\n

Hm? Oh yeah, we\u2019re old friends. We were just catching up, and then he decided to punch me in the face in lieu of hugging me goodbye. Pretty standard, really.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

CHRISTINE<\/strong><\/p>\n

Well, it\u2019s understandable, under the circumstances.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

JAKE<\/strong><\/p>\n

Huh?<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

CHRISTINE<\/strong><\/p>\n

Well what would you do if some\u2026 ya know\u2026 some guy just came at you and started shouting at you and waving his arms around. It\u2019s scary, Jake.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

JAKE<\/strong><\/p>\n

I wasn\u2019t \u2013 What?<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

CHRISTINE<\/strong><\/p>\n

We saw you, Jake. He shouldn\u2019t have hit you, I know, but you have to put yourself in his shoes. You look a little\u2026<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

JAKE<\/strong><\/p>\n

What?<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

ANDRE<\/strong><\/p>\n

Hey calm down, man, we\u2019re just talking.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

JAKE<\/strong><\/p>\n

I promise you, I am calm.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

CHRISTINE<\/strong><\/p>\n

Does\u2026 Does Karen know you\u2019re\u2026<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

JAKE<\/strong><\/p>\n

She knows I come to work early every day, do my job well, and leave at quitting time. That\u2019s all she needs to know. You\u2019re not gonna tell her\u2026<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

CHRISTINE<\/strong><\/p>\n

Well\u2026 How do you get your paychecks?<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

JAKE<\/strong><\/p>\n

Direct deposit.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

CHRISTINE<\/strong><\/p>\n

Does this mean\u2026 were you, when we were dating, were you\u2026<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

JAKE<\/strong><\/p>\n

Homeless? Is that the word you\u2019re searching for?<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

CHRISTINE<\/strong><\/p>\n

Yeah.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

JAKE<\/strong><\/p>\n

Yes. Four days ago, I was still homeless.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

CHRISTINE<\/strong><\/p>\n

Don\u2019t you think that\u2019s something you should have told me?<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

JAKE<\/strong><\/p>\n

We went out four times. It\u2019s kind of a sensitive subject.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

CHRISTINE<\/strong><\/p>\n

I just thought you were better than that. Wait. So you were homeless when, when you were over at my place.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

JAKE<\/strong><\/p>\n

Yes. When we slept together, I was also homeless.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

ANDRE<\/strong><\/p>\n

Hey.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

JAKE<\/strong><\/p>\n

Hey what, Andre? I just want to get some sleep so I\u2019ll be ready for work tomorrow.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

CHRISTINE<\/strong><\/p>\n

Don\u2019t you think Karen should know that you don\u2019t have a home?<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

JAKE<\/strong><\/p>\n

No, Christine, I don\u2019t think that. Who told you I was here?<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

CHRISTINE<\/strong><\/p>\n

Angie said she saw you here yesterday. She saw some crazy homeless guy punch you in the eye. Then I saw your eye at work today, and\u2026<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

JAKE<\/strong><\/p>\n

Yup. (pause<\/em>) Please don\u2019t tell Karen.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

CHRISTINE<\/strong><\/p>\n

She\u2019s gonna find out sooner or later.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

JAKE<\/strong><\/p>\n

She doesn\u2019t have to.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

CHRISTINE<\/strong><\/p>\n

People are gonna be uncomfortable around you, Jake\u2014<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

JAKE<\/strong><\/p>\n

If they find out, yes. That\u2019s a big reason not<\/em> to tell them.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Pause<\/em>.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

CHRISTINE<\/strong><\/p>\n

Well\u2026 I guess I\u2019ll see you tomorrow.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

JAKE<\/strong><\/p>\n

Please don\u2019t tell Karen. Are you gonna tell her?<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

CHRISTINE<\/strong><\/p>\n

I \u2013 no, I\u2019ll \u2013 I\u2019ll see you tomorrow.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

JAKE<\/strong><\/p>\n

Don\u2019t tell her, Christine, I need this money!<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

ANDRE<\/strong><\/p>\n

Calm down, buddy.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

JAKE<\/strong><\/p>\n

I need this job to live, buddy<\/em>, forgive me if I\u2019m slightly less than calm.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

ANDRE<\/strong><\/p>\n

Where is this attitude coming from?<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

JAKE<\/strong><\/p>\n

You people are fucking with my life because you\u2019re uncomfortable<\/em>; that\u2019s<\/em> where this attitude is coming from.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

CHRISTINE<\/strong><\/p>\n

Good night, Jake.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

JAKE<\/strong><\/p>\n

Answer me, Christine.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

CHRISTINE<\/strong><\/p>\n

Good night!<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

JAKE<\/strong><\/p>\n

Christine!<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

JAKE pursues CHRISTINE, but ANDRE quickly intercedes. JAKE shoves ANDRE, who then punches him. Again, JAKE knocks his head against the wall and goes down<\/em>.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

JAKE<\/strong><\/p>\n

God! Is this a fucking Loonie Tune!?<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

ANDRE<\/strong><\/p>\n

Just sit down and calm down, man.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

JAKE<\/strong><\/p>\n

If I don\u2019t have this job, I am going to starve to death. Do you understand that?<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

CHRISTINE<\/strong><\/p>\n

Good night, Jake.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

CHRISTINE and ANDRE exit. JAKE massages his eye. After a moment, a VAGRANT sneaks on, kicks JAKE viciously in the stomach, and steals his backpack. JAKE manages to lurch after him and grab the backpack, and they fight over it<\/em>.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

JAKE<\/strong><\/p>\n

Help! Christine! Help!<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The VAGRANT kicks JAKE in the groin. JAKE relinquishes the backpack, but a pair of COPS enter and stop the VAGRANT from fleeing<\/em>.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

COP 1<\/strong><\/p>\n

Whoa! What\u2019s goin\u2019 on here?<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

VAGRANT<\/strong><\/p>\n

Yeah, um, thank God; that guy was tryin\u2019 to steal my bag.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

JAKE<\/strong><\/p>\n

It\u2019s my bag, goddammit. This guy kicked me in the stomach, and \u2013<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

COP 1<\/strong><\/p>\n

Sir, I\u2019m gonna need you to calm down.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

JAKE<\/strong><\/p>\n

I don\u2019t \u2013 Fine. My phone, my computer, and my work clothes are in that backpack, just let me open it.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

COP 1<\/strong><\/p>\n

There\u2019s no need for the attitude, sir. Let\u2019s just get you both down to the precinct and get both your stories, you can have a place to sleep for the night, we\u2019ll let you out after twenty-four hours when everything\u2019s calmed down.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

JAKE<\/strong><\/p>\n

No. No, I cant \u2013 I have to be at work tomorrow. If I miss work, they\u2019ll let me go.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

COP 1<\/strong><\/p>\n

Sir, if you have work tomorrow, I\u2019m sure you can call and let them know you\u2019ll miss a day.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

JAKE<\/strong><\/p>\n

I\u2019m just a temp: they\u2019ll cut me loose if I don\u2019t show up. I just wanna sleep and go to work. Gimme my backpack.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

COP 1<\/strong><\/p>\n

Sir, calm down.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

JAKE<\/strong><\/p>\n

I am calm<\/em>!<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

COP 2 pulls a pistol and aims it at JAKE<\/em>.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

COP 2<\/strong><\/p>\n

Back away and calm down!<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

JAKE<\/strong><\/p>\n

I\u2019m not doing any\u2014<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

COP 2 fires into JAKE\u2019S shoulder. JAKE, again, goes down<\/em>.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

JAKE<\/strong><\/p>\n

Holy fucking god!<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

COP 2<\/strong><\/p>\n

A\u2019right, we\u2019re taking you both in.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

COP 2 produces a pair of handcuffs and arrests JAKE<\/em>.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

COP 1<\/strong><\/p>\n

(to VAGRANT<\/em>) Sorry sir, you gotta come down to the station with us and fill out some paper work. You can decide there if you wanna press charges.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

VAGRANT<\/strong><\/p>\n

Long as I get my bag back, I\u2019m fine.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

JAKE lies down and starts crying. With his good arm, he tries to grab his blanket and hug it to himself<\/em>.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

JAKE<\/strong><\/p>\n

I just wanna sleeeeep\u2026<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

COP 2<\/strong><\/p>\n

Sir, let\u2019s go. I will drag you all the way to the car, sir.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

JAKE is sobbing now. COP 2 drags JAKE offstage as COP 1 guides the VAGRANT off. CHRISTINE and ANDRE surreptitiously sneak back on<\/em>.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

CHRISTINE<\/strong><\/p>\n

Can you believe that?<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

ANDRE<\/strong><\/p>\n

Unbelievable.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

CHRISTINE<\/strong><\/p>\n

I don\u2019t get it. Some people just can\u2019t live responsibly.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

ANDRE<\/strong><\/p>\n

Hey! I got an idea. Let\u2019s go get drunk.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

CHRISTINE<\/strong><\/p>\n

Okay.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

They exit.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Lights fade out<\/em>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

This is not representative of any specific day I experienced. It’s a combination of a number of experiences. Please forgive the (again) phallocentric nature, but that’s the experience I had. He Opens a Window \u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0Lights … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[20,9],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2099","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-short-plays","category-theater-stuff"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p9u111-xR","_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.jaredmcdaris.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2099","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.jaredmcdaris.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.jaredmcdaris.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.jaredmcdaris.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.jaredmcdaris.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2099"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/www.jaredmcdaris.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2099\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2100,"href":"http:\/\/www.jaredmcdaris.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2099\/revisions\/2100"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.jaredmcdaris.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2099"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.jaredmcdaris.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2099"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.jaredmcdaris.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2099"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}