{"id":2116,"date":"2014-12-22T20:26:10","date_gmt":"2014-12-23T02:26:10","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.jaredmcdaris.com\/?p=2116"},"modified":"2014-12-22T20:27:23","modified_gmt":"2014-12-23T02:27:23","slug":"short-play-14-medusa-magdalene","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.jaredmcdaris.com\/?p=2116","title":{"rendered":"Short Play 14 &#8211; Medusa Magdalene"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Here&#8217;s a major downer for the holiday season. This is essentially a staged version of a very late chapter in a novel I&#8217;ll probably never finish. Rape figures fairly strongly into its plot (being based on the multifarious Medusa myths), so it may no longer be something audiences can get anything out of.<\/p>\n<p>This play is very very Pinter.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong><span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">Medusa Magdalene<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <em>Lights up on a collapsed church. All images have fallen, making no denomination clear. There are candles about. The place is generally dim. There is a lantern sitting prominently near the middle of the wreckage, but it is conspicuously unlit.<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 MAGGIE enters. She is dressed in filth and castoffs. She has been unsexed and disaged: her face is covered with scars and infected welts. She is hunched and walks in a slow half-stumble, as though perpetually performing the opening moves of a dance, missing its partner. She is holding a pair of books in one hand.<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Somewhere, an empty can is knocked over. MAGGIE hears this, and instantly hobbles to hide her books under a destroyed altar. She fetches up the unlit lantern and sits in some refuse that vaguely resembles a chair.<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 SARAH enters, very cautiously. She is dressed well, conservatively. She is almost thirty, but has the air of a child trying to act older than she is. She holds a single book in both hands, resting in front of her crotch, like a boy in middle school. The left hand secures the book, while the right covers most of the left hand.<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 SARAH looks about, still very cautious. MAGGIE is not hiding herself, but is still obscured by the dimness and her own resemblance to the garbage around her. After a moment SARAH spies her, but is still unsure if she is actually a person. SARAH carefully creeps closer, continuing to shield herself with her book. Until\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 MAGGIE speaks. She has an educated, nonspecific manner of speech. On rare and elevated occasion, the vestiges of a Southern twang may creep into a vowel or two. Her voice is deep, or scratched, or harsh, or feral. It is unclear if this is the genuine result of an injury or age, or merely an affectation<\/em>.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>MAGGIE<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Sarah Hammond.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>SARAH<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>(<em>Gasps, then<\/em>) Hello.<\/p>\n<p><em>SARAH speaks with a deeply regional Georgian accent, only partially modified by internet globalization. She stops progressing toward MAGGIE, keeping her book at crotch level, occasionally bending at the waist to lean a bit forward, should certain speech require.<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Silence. Then<\/em>\u2026<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>MAGGIE<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Hello. Sarah Hammond.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>SARAH<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Uhh\u2026 Hi. (<em>silence<\/em>) I\u2014<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>MAGGIE<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Hello.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>SARAH<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Heh\u2026 Hi.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>MAGGIE<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Hello.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>SARAH<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>I don\u2019t\u2026 Are you all\u2014 Uh\u2026 Maggie?<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>MAGGIE<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Yes. Maggie. Sarah Hammond.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>SARAH<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Are you\u2026 (<em>Silence. SARAH is expecting MAGGIE to interrupt, and MAGGIE is refusing to do so. In time<\/em>\u2026) Hi.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>MAGGIE<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><em>Hello<\/em>. Sarah. Hammond.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>SARAH<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>What\u2026 Should I go?<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>MAGGIE<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Why?<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>SARAH<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>You don\u2019t, I mean I, you don\u2019t\u2014 Um, we um, we just um, we just keep saying hello over and over.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>MAGGIE<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>That\u2019s the polite response. Isn\u2019t it. \u201cHello.\u201d<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>SARAH<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Yes ma\u2019am\u2014<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>MAGGIE<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>And there we are, stuck in an infinite loop. I could descant on that, but. Not much point.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>SARAH<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>No, ma\u2019am.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>MAGGIE<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>\u201cMa\u2019am?\u201d<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>SARAH<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Well\u2026<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>MAGGIE<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>That\u2019s a polite response. Too.<\/p>\n<p><em>Silence<\/em>.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>SARAH<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>About, umm\u2026 about Jake?<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>MAGGIE<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>What about. Jake. Sarah Hammond.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>SARAH<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Well uhh, about Jake? Umm. It\u2019s Sarah Gardner. Now. I am. Sarah, um, Gardner. Now.<\/p>\n<p><em>A long, long Silence. SARAH looks around briefly, never moving. She does not look behind her, but gives serious thought to backing away and leaving. But she does not move. Silence. SARAH considers speaking, but is too\u2026 something. Maggie makes a small motion, and SARAH tenses as though awaiting a strike. But nothing happens.<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Silence<\/em>.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>MAGGIE<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Congratulations.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>SARAH<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>(<em>melting instantly<\/em>) Thank you so much, Maggie\u2014<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>MAGGIE<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>What about Jake.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>SARAH<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>(<em>stopping short<\/em>) Umm, he. He\u2019s not. We had a baby\u2014<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>MAGGIE<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Congratulations.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>SARAH<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Th\u2014umm, thank you. Um. Jake\u2014<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>MAGGIE<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>What. About Jake.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>SARAH<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>He. \u2026 He\u2019s really\u2014<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>MAGGIE<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Don\u2019t!<\/p>\n<p><em>Pause<\/em>.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>SARAH<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Okay. Umm\u2014<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>MAGGIE<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm\u2026<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>SARAH<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Sorry, um \u2013 uh, sorry. Uh\u2014<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>MAGGIE<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>What?<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>SARAH<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Jake. Is\u2026 sick.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>MAGGIE<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Oh no.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>SARAH<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>It uh \u2013 It \u2013 It started, right before the baby was born\u2014<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>MAGGIE<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Boy? Or girl.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>SARAH<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>(<em>long pause<\/em>) Boy.<\/p>\n<p><em>Long pause<\/em>.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>MAGGIE<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Of course.<\/p>\n<p><em>Pause<\/em>.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>SARAH<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>His name\u2019s Timothy. (<em>pause<\/em>) You pro\u2019lly don\u2019t care.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>MAGGIE<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Are you concerned? If I care? Cause if you are\u2014<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>SARAH<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>No no, um, sorry, uh, I \u2013 Sorry.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>MAGGIE<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>STOP! SAYING! You\u2019re sorry.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>SARAH<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>S\u2014Okay.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>MAGGIE<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Let me make one thing clear.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>SARAH<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Yes.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>MAGGIE<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>I do not care who is sorry. Or why. Or how. I do not care.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>SARAH<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Okay.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>MAGGIE<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Since you seem so concerned. If I care.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>SARAH<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Okay.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>MAGGIE<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>O. K.<\/p>\n<p><em>Silence<\/em>.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>SARAH<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Jake is sick. And, we\u2019re just not sure what\u2019s wrong.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>MAGGIE<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>(<em>affecting a fake hillbilly accent<\/em>) Ol\u2019 Doc Humphrey\u2019s been stumped, huh?<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>SARAH<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Well.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>MAGGIE<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Oh. Ah. Well. I\u2019m sure he\u2019d be stumped, all the same.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>SARAH<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Well.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>MAGGIE<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>That\u2019s a funny word. Well. Has a lot of different meanings.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>SARAH<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>(<em>provides a polite hiccup of laughter<\/em>) Yeah.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>MAGGIE<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>I\u2019d descant on that. But. Pearls before swine.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>SARAH<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Is that from the Bible?<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>MAGGIE<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Jake. Is sick.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>SARAH<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Um \u2013 S\u2014Yeah. So, we was, we thought it was just the flu, but it\u2019s been goin\u2019 for a while. I thought he might be exhausted, cause he\u2019s been doin\u2019 a lot of double shifts up in the city, but of course he wouldn\u2019t listen, bein\u2019 a man, bein\u2019 Jake.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>MAGGIE<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Bein\u2019 Jake.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>SARAH<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Well, uh, s\u2019, yeah. Mmm\u2026 He just. He\u2019s not sleepin\u2019. He\u2019s sweatin\u2019 all the time. He\u2019s callin\u2019 in sick to work, and he ain\u2019t never done that. Never. He\u2019s not gettin\u2019 any rest, he just looks like\u2014<\/p>\n<p><em>Pause<\/em>.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>MAGGIE<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>What. Does he look like?<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>SARAH<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>He looks sick.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>MAGGIE<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Does he look like death?<\/p>\n<p><em>Pause<\/em>.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>SARAH<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Yeah.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>MAGGIE<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>So. Jake. Is sick. That\u2019s the problem? Jake is sick. And you don\u2019t know what\u2019s wrong.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>SARAH<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Yeah.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>MAGGIE<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>So. Fucking. What.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>SARAH<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>I was, I was talkin\u2019 to my brother Arny. And he said about, when, the time he got sick in high school. He was a couple years ahead of us?<\/p>\n<p><em>Pause<\/em>.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>MAGGIE<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Uh huh?<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>SARAH<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>He. Well he. Arny was talkin\u2019 about the time he got sick in high school, and \u2013 He thought maybe \u2013 He thought you might maybe know what was wrong with Jake.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>MAGGIE<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Mm. Because of my big city education. That it? (<em>pause<\/em>) Hm? (<em>pause<\/em>) That it?<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>SARAH<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>No.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>MAGGIE<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Then why? Would I know? Why Jake\u2019s sick. Hm?<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>SARAH<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Because.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>MAGGIE<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Are you a fucking eight-year-old! \u201cBecause!\u201d Because of what! Sarah Hammond! What!?<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>SARAH<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>We thought you might know, cause of\u2026 Cause of your past.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>MAGGIE<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>My past. <em>My<\/em> past?<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>SARAH<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>We thought, maybe\u2026 when you and Jake\u2014<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>MAGGIE<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Me and Jake. Did nothing. (<em>Silence<\/em>) Do you understand? Do you get it? Huh?<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>SARAH<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>But\u2014<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>MAGGIE<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>No! <em>Me<\/em> and Jake did nothing. Jake did. Jake. Did. Some thing.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>SARAH<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Okay.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>MAGGIE<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>To me.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>SARAH<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Okay!<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>MAGGIE<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>It\u2019s NOT! Okay!!<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>SARAH<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>S \u2013 O \u2013 What!? (<em>finally flings the book away<\/em>) What do you want me to say!?<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>MAGGIE<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>(<em>finally stands<\/em>) I don\u2019t know, Sarah! <em>You\u2019re<\/em> the ones who called me the know-it-all! I never said that. You did! <em>You<\/em> tell <em>me<\/em>! What do you want me to say? What <em>magical<\/em> words can I speak that will suddenly make everything <em>okay<\/em>? What are those words!?<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>SARAH<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>I don\u2019t know!<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>MAGGIE<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Then neither do I! You fucking self-righteous, willfully stupid monsters glare at me, spit at me, judge me! And now you come to me!? That fucking coward can\u2019t even come here himself! He sends you instead?<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>SARAH<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>He <em>didn\u2019t<\/em> send me! He can\u2019t get out of bed, Maggie!<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>MAGGIE<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Good! I\u2019m <em>glad<\/em> he can\u2019t get out of bed. I\u2019m <em>glad<\/em> he\u2019s suffering. I\u2019m <em>glad<\/em> he\u2019s dying!<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>SARAH<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Dying? How do you know\u2014<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>MAGGIE<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Because maybe there <em>is<\/em> justice in the world, Sarah. <em>That\u2019s<\/em> how I know. I know because <em>that\u2019s what feels good<\/em>! (<em>instantly, her manner alters. Silence<\/em>) There it is. The magic words. It\u2019s true, because I want it to be true. That\u2019s how. The wisdom of the deliberately stupid.<\/p>\n<p><em>Silence<\/em>.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>SARAH<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Maggie. (<em>pause<\/em>) Maggie! Jake.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>MAGGIE<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Jake is dead, Sarah. Jake is dead, and it makes me soooo happy.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>SARAH<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>What do I do?<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>MAGGIE<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Tell yourself he\u2019s gonna be fine. Jake\u2019s gonna be fine, and you\u2019re soooo happy.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>SARAH<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Maggie.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>MAGGIE<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Or he\u2019s gone to a better place. He\u2019s gone to a better place, and you\u2019re soooo happy.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>SARAH<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Maggie!<\/p>\n<p><em>MAGGIE sits again<\/em>.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>MAGGIE<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Sorry, Sarah Hammond, but you don\u2019t really exist. You don\u2019t exist, and it makes me soooo happy.<\/p>\n<p><em>Silence. SARAH turns and exits. MAGGIE starts humming \u201cAuld Lang Syne.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Lights fade out.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Here&#8217;s a major downer for the holiday season. This is essentially a staged version of a very late chapter in a novel I&#8217;ll probably never finish. Rape figures fairly strongly into its plot (being based on the multifarious Medusa myths), &hellip; <a href=\"http:\/\/www.jaredmcdaris.com\/?p=2116\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[20,9],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2116","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-short-plays","category-theater-stuff"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p9u111-y8","_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.jaredmcdaris.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2116","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.jaredmcdaris.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.jaredmcdaris.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.jaredmcdaris.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.jaredmcdaris.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2116"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/www.jaredmcdaris.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2116\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2117,"href":"http:\/\/www.jaredmcdaris.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2116\/revisions\/2117"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.jaredmcdaris.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2116"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.jaredmcdaris.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2116"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.jaredmcdaris.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2116"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}